Living a Dream Come True - Without Fighting God

 There is no end of beauty where I live. If you like nature and the outdoors, then Michigan is a paradise. In two minutes I am "in the country". My town is comprised of First Street through Fifth Street and assorted cross streets, one traffic light, no grocery store (as of this posting), but a fire department, a fish and tackle store, a small marina, larger harbor, an exceedingly long pier and assorted unsophisticated eateries where small town friendliness is everything and culinary expertise comes in - well second... except for Smalley's Bar & Grille which has the United States best burger!

I thought I would post some of my favorite photos of life in utopia. There is an utter lack of sophistication in a small farming community such as this. What I have discovered is that where you live pretty much dictates your life's priorities - and I don't think it is supposed to work like that.

When I read the Bible, I understand that we are not to be "conformed to this world" and when I lived in a large urban area - I thought that phrase mean the BIG sins like sexual immorality - having a foul mouth - lying, stealing, cheating, etc etc. But now living in a non-urban area - I've discovered that "not being conformed to this world" has a realm of possibilities. For example, in Atlanta, my life revolved around my worrying about my weight, whether I had make-up on, whether I could afford high-quality clothes, keeping my car sparkling clean, getting my hair done in a high-end salon, and earlier - keeping the yard well-manicured, participating whenever a group of people had lunch together... blah blah blah. Now - I haven't washed my car in two months - we drive on dirt roads between fields of corn, sugar beats, and winter wheat. Nobody seems to understand the "healthy eating movement" - everyone is solidly built - and farmers all show the effects of a hard life in their lined faces - but neither they or their wives are keeling over from not eating sprouts and organic smoothies. In fact everyone around here over the age of 60 seems to be healthier than some urban people in their 40s. A subjective remark to be sure - but true none the less. Just maybe - to not be conformed to this world - means more than just avoidance of breaking the ten commandments or "lusting in your heart" after an attractive woman or man. Maybe it means something like getting off your high horse and stop trying to maintain a mask of sophistication. Maybe it means - it's ok to look like yourself instead of a Barbie doll with wicked cool clothes, a painted make-up face, and hair to dye (sic) for. Maybe it's ok to be a young woman in her late 20's getting rounder and softer after 3 or 4 kids and having a hard-working husband who loves her. Sorry folks but there is no zero-population, 2.0 kids in this part of the world. Here, couples seem to marry young, have several kids, and grow old together - all the while not washing their cars every week and letting their hair go gray (I'm working on it, Lord).

And here are my pictures of life in utopia...

Port Austin Farmer's Market

Lighthouse Road, Point Aux Barques, Michigan

Doe and Yearlings - Point Aux Barques State Park, Michigan

Autumn Fields

Hwy 53 - The Road to Bad Axe, Michigan

Leaf Piles - The Last Vestiges of Autumn

Cheers!

Still Learning After All These Years

After moving to a small farming community on the shores of Lake Huron, I decided I needed to obey the biblical injunction to "assemble" with other Christian believers.

I am by nature a reserved person preferring to stay at home and piddle around rather than to socialize. In fact it's become a rather significant life choice resulting in a lack of close friends. I'm not even sure I know what a friend is. The last one I had was in 1980 something - my friend Darlene. We are still friends though we spent several years out of contact. But she lives on the west coast and I am now in the mid-west. The distance is hardly conducive to maturing a friendship with all the gives and takes that friendship requires to be a true thriving relationship.But we do talk on the phone and keep up with each other's health issues and life challenges. I never fail to hang up the phone and think, "Gosh I wish we didn't live so far apart. I miss her!".

Back to my original thought - that of "getting involved" in a local church. Now here is the thing. I was introduced to another single woman when I moved here. It was fun getting to discover a new area and having someone to "pal" around with. But the days turned into weeks and gradually my  normal life's rhythm returned. Jumping in the car and taking off began to disrupt what little routine I had been trying to build. But my new friend - and rightly so - was confused by my withdrawal from social contact. I found myself constantly having to do the boyfriend/girlfriend break-up dance to the tune of "It's Not You - It's Me" - and tiring of having to justify why I don't answer my phone all the time (I usually don't know where it is) or why I don't call to cry on her shoulder when I'm feeling blue (because I don't DO that with anyone except my daughter-in-law). The more I was expected to stay in constant contact - the more I withdrew. But unfortunately, God doesn't allow us the luxury of withdrawing from other human beings so that we can pamper ourselves and do only what we want, when we want.

After starting to attend church, I looked for ways to be of service to the Lord. I don't feel any specific call on my life - "Therefore", I thought, "I'll just find something that needs to be done or where a volunteer is needed - and I'll do that for now." And I started volunteering all over the place; Working with young readers to improve their reading skills, offering to babysit for a single mother when she was stuck for childcare, participating in the Youth for Christ weekly evening get-together s for the local young people in surrounding communities, taking pictures of church members for the church directory, doing childcare during weekly bible study... and the list goes on. And I joined a quilting group as a way to force myself out of the house. All of these activities have something in common - they have forced me to leave the house - talk to people - and let others know me. And this is what I found - there is a comfort level in being unknown - you can slip in and out quietly without making real contact. But where there is comfort - there is also stagnation. You avoid accidentally revealing your insecurities - you can keep a mask over your face and avoid too close a connection. And you can keep from getting too close to anyone. Only the thing is that God wants sincere people - without pretense or deception. He calls us to expose our flaws and insecurities - and in doing so - we find healing in the acceptance of other imperfect human beings.

Moving On

Originally blogged sometime in 2013.

 
Seven years ago I was fired from my job. I was 52 and recently diagnosed with ADHD. At the same time I was having multiple health problems. Each day was more difficult than the day before just getting out of bed and dragging myself to work. Laying awake at night dreading the morning. God seemed so very far away.

First my huskies went to foster homes which later became permanent, the cats too except for one, my car which I painstakingly cleaned and polished was picked up and returned to the finance company, then my house was sold at auction. The best furniture went to my son and the rest went in storage. I laid on a mattress in the empty living room next to my last dog and stared at a wall while my friend and her daughter packed up what was left in the house. 

I tried working 9 months after my job loss - doing contract work. I was let go because of my health problems. I filed for Social Security Disability and was turned down so with borrowed money, I retained an attorney and we filed an appeal of Social Security's denial. It took 3 years to get a court hearing during which time I had zero income and had to borrow money for food, medication, whatever was needed.

Seven years later, the physical health problems have been pretty much resolved after 3 major surgeries. I lived with my oldest son for 4 years off and on, a year and a half was spent with a nephew, a year and a half with my sister, 6 weeks with my younger son. The emotional issues are still rearing their ugly heads now and then. I find it hard to lay the past to rest with all it's losses. In my mind's eye - I look for a time when I have my own home again. Room to move without tripping over debris stacked on the floor, desk top or rolling over something stacked on one side of the bed.  But it's time to move on.